Getting through

Ya know sometimes, many times in fact, you just can't get a win. But that doesn't mean you have to lose either, most of the time a draw will do. It may not always be what you want but the way life keeps kicking me in he ribs when I am clearly down, yeah I'll take a tie. If your asking yourself where did this come from, well.....just chalk it up to idle thoughts. As bad as things have been they could have been a whole hell of a lot worse no doubt. But they were not, and I feel that is because in most cases I was willing to accept the draw, which many people may have not done. I feel in some cases it's OK to let off the gas a bit even more so when you can clearly see the race is not win-able, just make sure you don't lose, Now to clear up, I am in no way shape or form telling you not to go for the win or aim high, I'm just saying I have learned from this experience, when you know you can't win don't settle for the loss, find the middle ground. Oh Liz, by the way my wife wantedme to tell you that she is also a huge Dean Koontz fan, which I meant to do sooner.


...Of the day

Music, check out Within Temptation if you listen to Mother earth and not get hookedthen I will eatmy hair.

TV, oh how could I forget, The Walking Dead, great show even more so if you a zombie freak like I am, Mel and I have a standing bet she thinks the robot apocalypse will hit first and I say Zombie.....Robots now she's just being silly.

Movie, cool and funny from about 10 years ago Idle Hands, fun little flick.

Peace eye listeners.

It's the little things.

We all know that money can't buy love and happiness, but sometimes a small purchase can rent happiness, it's been a long while since we have been able to buy anything just for us you know. Not food but a nice material thing. Now I am by no means a materialistic person but like many I do enjoy a cool gadget or two when we have a little extra cash or if I had a big night playing poker ( big poker junkie ). So with us getting ready to move into a new apartment ( thanks to Mel's boss ) I thought we all could use a little treat, it has been a long time since we could do that and I wanted to make everyone weekend a little better. The VA finally got a few things in order and got me my back pay check ( no where near what I should be getting but hey it's a start ) so I let everyone pick out something neat and I got a 2 terabyte hard drive which I needed badly and I just love it, now I can re-organize my movies and shows and make things easier for when get into our new place. I know it's nerdy but hey that's me. If you all haven't figured it out by now movies are a big part of my life, I feel everyone has a unique aspect to them and I love analyzing them and studying them and see what makes them tick, movie autopsy if you will. So it's nice when I can put my collection in order. Unfortunately I paid dearly for leaving the house, I slipped off the curb and jammed my weight into my left leg and have had one big nerve spazz attack, that has rendered me helpless and locked up since, bottom line big pain makes me not able to walk. It's OK though eye listeners a cortazone shot or two and I'll be fine.


...Of the day

Music check out my best friend's band Metal Steel on Facebook, just type in the name they are an 80's metal cover band, Don't judge by their name, their pretty good my besty is the singer. I know chep plug but I love the dude.

TV show this is a two-fer check out the rad old school show Blossom then go see the main character
Mayim Bialik on the Big Bang Theory she has brought new life to the show and has quickly become one of my favorite characters on all of TV.

Check out the 80's flick Bird on a Wire with Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn, good movie. For my horror peeps lets see oh I got it wrap your eyes around this double feature Warlock 1&2 skip 3 it's horrid but the first 2 rock.

OK my valued eye listeners gotta lay down and try to feel better, till tomorrow peace.

Back to the Norm.....Can't sleep.

The one thing I can take away from all this not sleeping right is, at least I'm a night person. There is just something.....calming about it. It's cooler at night it's more quiet the air is crisp, it can be very soothing. It's a great time to think, that's for sure. I find myself more collected, more at ease with my surroundings. I know some people are afraid of the dark, the night, they find it....mysterious I guess. Not being able to all your soundings can be off setting, but for me I seem to embrace that, I feel at one with the night, and yes I know how sappy that sounds but it is what I feel. So I must take a moment and thank all of you out there for just....listening to my problems the other day and to Liz, you seem to always know just the right thing to say, most people when they try and talk to some one about there problems they try and relate it to themselves thinking if the other person feels someone else has been where they they will find that easing. For me however, just making reference to that problem and letting that person know that you are there is more helpful and that's what you did Liz again thank, you didn't make it about yourself like most people do. This is also the reason I started this blog to get my feelings out amongst the world without someone trying to " solve " my problems. Sometimes just be able to connect with my own words and thoughts is what I truly need so thank you blog-o-sphere for listening. Is it wrong I feel more comfortable talking to a web page than I do my own family and friends? I mean it's just as hard as they try to "understand " and " help " me I get a sense that because they are aboard this sinking ship I call my life that they are invested and therefore biased in there " help ". Maybe that's an unfair assessment, then again maybe not, it is however what I feel. OK enough of that lets kick this up a bit, what's going on in the world lets see. Online poker takes a step towards being legal, the middle east is heating up yet again and I'm am thinking about becoming a vegetarian.


OK...of the day time.

If you have not listened to Grace and the Nocturnals yet give them a shot very talented band.

TV show well the new Vampire Diaries was AMAZING yet again.

And for the topper the Movie's today are A nightmare on Elm street 1 and the remake that came out last year which after watching a few times now I must say I love this movie, as much for it's differences to the original as the similarities, very well paced even if not the greatest acting from one or two of it's stars. OK guys that's all I got today, peace eye listeners.

Frustrations

Some days just seem to not go your way you know what I mean. I'm just at the end of my rope today, anything I want to do it just seems like life is taking time out of it's busy day to make sure it won't happen. I'm tired of not having my own place with my family, I tired of not seeing my wife I tired of being in pain, I'm tired of having to tip toe around Satan's Vacation home. I't tired of not sleeping right so really I guess that just means I'm tired. To put an extra spin on things when I do close my eyes I'm having awful dreams, not nightmares might you just really BAD dreams. I hate feeling powerless and having no control, and yes I am aware that control is just an illusion but it's a nice one. If I didn't have you guys to talk to I would really be in a bad spot. I mean I don't really talk to anyone else for a myriad of reasons, but first and foremost basically everyone else in my life seems to have their own agenda when it comes to talking to me. No body is just THERE for me, yeah is it a tad selfish of me to want that sure but it is something we all need on occasion. I'm sure when I go back and chill I will see that everything is not as bad as I'm stating here but for right now in this moment it is, and this is my blog and I can cry ( metaphorically ) if I want to. But this whole being home less thing is getting to me, I'm a king with no castle, a captain with no ship, a Santa with no North Pole, A chef with no kitchen, did I spread that far enough can I squeeze one more in, a singer with no band. OK pity party is over thanks for being there for me, little white web page, you sweet non-judgemental web page, and you eye listeners thanks for once again being there for me.


... of the day

Music Lionel Richie, strong powerful pain music.

TV show it's Big Bang Theory day yeah.

Movie lets see here...I got it, the one movie that never fails to make me laugh... Airplane....try to get through it without cracking a smile...for those in a darker mood Fright Night 1 & 2 enjoy my people much love.

I feel like a teenager today.

Today is a very good day it's Micheal Jordan's birthday he is 48 and you know what, today is also my Mom's birthday she is...wait for it....48. Not a bad guy to share a birthday with, I always thought that was cool, I mean I grew up a Bulls fan, and I really love MJ so that was always neat. Also Melanie ( wife ) is coming over tonight, I haven't seen her in a week because she still works in a different part of Germany but she is coming up for the NEXT FOUR DAYS!!!! I really miss her and this time apart has brought us closer together. It's been good blogging with everyone I just wish I had more followers and more people commenting and stuff so please pass my blog around, I hope someday other retired people that have been put out of the Military will read it and maybe it can be of some help.

What's going around the world today, lets see A machine beats some of Jeopardy's best, Vick cancels his interview with Oprah, and Arnold S. maybe getting his Terminator on one more time.

...Of the Day.

For Music lets go with some Iron Maiden or Judas Priest I mean they sound very much alike.

Glee was on last night and they like everyone else got Bieber fever...will it never end....You know who this hurts the most.....those Jonas kids. But still Glee was solid and if you don't like that try this old show that was canceled way to soon Jericho... awesome show. Here is one more great show Harper's Island it's like 13 episode and an hour long a piece and it's very good Horror/Slasher stuff, It's like a 13 hour I Know What You did Last Summer, enjoy.

And for Movie lets go with a double feature the original Night of the Living Dead in its black and white glory, and follow that up with Christine one of Stephen King's best books made one hell of a movie.

Have a great day eye listeners.

Funny things, we humans are

First to address Liz, yes that is the same rock, he got his fame by being pretty much the greatest talker in wrestling history, he was awesome on Monday. I just have a few quick thoughts I wanted to relay. Why is it that some privileged people who are lucky or talented enough to have money or fame seem to what to throw it away  ( Lohan, Sheen ) I'm talking to you. Is it the old adage that a star that burns twice as bright burns twice as fast or is it that some people can't handle money, like once they have it, it turns them into ass-hats. That is clearly not the case with those aforementioned " stars " you see they were born into fame Lohan with the Disney stuff from like birth and of course Sheen as part of the Sheen family legacy. I picked these two because they both had different paths to their downfalls, where they end up is the only thing similar about their situations. Lohan was a clean cut cute kid growing up working for Disney making movies and being groomed for the big time, but once Disney loosened the reins, which they do once their stars stop being cute and start being sexy, she showed herself to be an arrogant and talentless ( in my opinion ) actress who if not controlled and built up by Disney would have spun out of control much sooner due in no small part by her dis-functional family. Now we can debate if it's the families fault and blah blah blah but once I move to Sheen I think my point will start to form, bare with me here because I'm not even sure where this is going at this point ( I'm sick and in pain and on meds right now ). Mr. Charlie Sheen on the other hand has all the talent in the world ( in my opinion ) was born into a Hollywood proven and strong family. However unlike Lohan he was a problem from the onset, He grew up constantly in trouble with drugs and booze and the law regardless of the structure of his family, money was not new to him, but he exploited it in the same manner as someone on whom money was thrust upon like Lohan. Yet they both get chance after chance in the business and in life only to keep tossing it away like it's a burden, for these two ( this is why I picked them to write about ) they just make bad choices time and again, Charlie has thrown away wife's and picks drugs and parties over his families. While Lohan has chosen badly in life as far as the law goes and has thrown away a once promising career, for what DUI's, and in the most recent case theft, I mean come on, when you have that much money you should have zero excuse for DUI's you can have a driver 24/7 and hell you can have clubs and bars cater to you and your group rather than hit the scene where you know cameras are watching and make yet another blunder. Too many people use fame and money as an excuse for failures, like they couldn't handle the pressure and stuff, instead of treating money and fame like the blessing they are. We need to stop putting these people up on pedistals for our children to see and start holding them and ourselves for that matter accountable for the choices we all have to make. WHEW I feel better now, had to get that out.


... Of the Day

Music today a bit different, check out the eerie yet elegant Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs.

TV, new Glee last night very good.

Movie is Interview with a Vampire.

Enjoy eye listeners.

Reaching for a reason.

You know guys I think the hardest thing in life is finding a reason just to be. To be is not as easy as one might think, ever since I was told by the army I no longer have value to them which is basically what they did when they retired me. I have struggled to find purpose, I mean don't get me wrong being a father is purpose and same is being a husband, but that's not really what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about a need for something outside of the everyday rigors of life, like as a soldier I was serving something greater than myself, teaching younger soldiers and having a feeling that whatever I was doing was better just because I was involved. When I do something I don't half-ass it, I put my soul into it, and being injured and basically crippled has taken a toll on my spirit. I have been looking for things to put myself into, this blog being a great example of that. So what I found is all that searching and reaching for purpose ....well, is my purpose. Trying to make myself better, fixing those flaws that we all have trying to grow I feel I have become more patient and less angry at the world, personal growth is what I live for now and you know what, I like it.


Don't know if any of you like wrestling like I do ( I know Liz is kinda into it ) but the Rock is back baby and he didn't miss a beat in his return.



... Of the Day

If there are any metal heads out there check out Lordi very good band with great videos.


In lieu of a show today I have a book of the day , check out the heel of Time series by the Iconic late Robert Jordan very fun set o books.


For movie lets go with Batteries Not Included, great family movie very cute.

Take it easy eye listeners.