Writers block

I am having a hard time of thinking about what to blog right now, mainly because my pain is getting very bad and I really can't think straight so if I take a few days off to rest up please forgive me and I hope it doesn't kill my blog, because this really has given me the strength to get through all this crap that's going on. So stick with me guys as I plod on through this, thanks.

Afrter pancake quick hits

MMMMM.... pancakes yummy. I don't want to neglect my blog more than I already do, but I am not feeling right and need to lay back down maybe close my eyes sorry for the lame blogs today folks try to get back on track later.

Just a hard days night

I am trying to get going this morning to no avail, still have not been able to sleep right and can't get an appointment here either it's just slammed right now, so just a matter of time and that will really help. Here at Vatationo el Satano or Casa de D'ablo, life is not not bad Mom has gone into full on Mommy mother bird mode.

Hardly any fight and Alisha and I are having a good time together and it's nice to just focus on healing. OOH food just walked into my my room, I'll hit all my eye listeners back up later.

Old school me and Alisha Pic

Just came across this pic and wanted to show you all what I kinda looked like before all this crap, get your laughs people.

Baby steps

Things are starting to take form so we can begin to rebuild, I wasn't sure if I would even get a tax return this year since I retired early last year but I did and while it was not a good as would be if I were married to an American citizen I certainly helps us start to crawl from under a large pile of debt. Melanie is gonna start her new/same job with more money and better hours over here and in Germany 1000 to 1300 Euros a month is considered good, even though it's not nearly enough to live on, so the cogs are turning. Also with me over at Satan's vacation home I am closer to a Health Clinic that will actually see retirees so that is a plus because I have not been seen or had my meds. refilled in a very long time. So things are looking up everyone and it allows me to focus on more fun things like talking to all of you, and a g'day to my friend down under, thanks for your kind words once again, everyone else should take a page from her and leave comments on my page and please continue to pass my blog on to anyone who could benefit or possibly just be entertained by it.

I threw up some old school pics of my daughter ( from when she was like 2 or 3 ) just for a change enjoy eye listeners.

Still Alive

Well good news is the Bear game didn't kill me so go me. Mn I don't feel well I just sat up to type this and boy I just don't feel right, I wanted to shout out real quick to everyone and I had to re-type this 3 times I can't seem to focus very well, I think I am OK, sorry for typing all that but it was weird.

I don't know how many of you watch Craig Ferguson but if you do I hope you saw Larry King on the other day, one of Craig's best interviews, very funny stuff.

Just wanted to preface the next item on my blog, I may not be the smartest man in the world but I do have a problem with the idea that a guy can walk out of his house and kill a bunch of folks, have no doubts on his guilt or innocence ( I mean he was tackled in the middle of this ) and then walk into court and while smiling enter a plea of not guilty and we are going to allow this to happen, and pay for his lengthy trial. This is exactly the point of what he did, he is going to mock the countries government by exploiting the laws that protect the accused. All the while getting his message spread to more and more people thanks to our 24 hour a day media circus the world has. Maybe the crime he committed was for this purpose, he is gonna tie up the court for a long time, and has a lawyer noted for getting people off the death penalty. Some crimes need to proceeded over differently, after committing a crime of this nature he should not be strutted in front of the world and allowed to make a mockery of our court system as well. And that's the way that Sue... C's it made the little motion with my hand and everything. ( little something for my glee eye listeners.

FROM YAHOO -The suspect in the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords smiled and nodded but didn't speak as he appeared in court Monday and his lawyer provided the 22-year-old's first response to the charges, not guilty.

The morning after

While the Bears didn't play their best football they did play well enough to win no doubt, to any who watched the game, you already know it was one of the worsted officiated games I have ever seen, and it shows once again that the NFL will do whatever it wants whenever it wants, I mean the former head of officiating was saying calls were wrong for crying out loud. To Jay Cutler I am very dissapointed man, your knee better be falling off for you not to come back in, you took a beating all year and the NFC title game is when you go soft? Are you kidding me? I don't care about a record right now all I know is Lovie Smith needs to go, that was one poorly coached game. This was like the 4th time this year when you called a late timeout on a play where it negated a big gain, trust your team for once, and he showed very poor player management horrible game by the coaches, so I feel right now that this team needs to be gutted, get a good strong coach in there, hell lets get Ditka in there I don't care how old he is because I can't sit there a watch Lovie's dumb expressions when he costs us another game.

OK I feel better guys.

I know I am taking this hard but it really meant quite a bit to me but it's over and all I can say is GO BULLS, and we are just 3 weeks away from one of my favorate sentences in the world PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT .......... GO CUBBIES. And GO BLACKHAWKS .....what's our soccer team....... ( had to google ) GO FIRE.

OK so ......hows was your weekend my dears....Mine was.....just great as you can tell, oh wait mine was the cousin on great.......Not great.

Man you think I took it hard look at espn chicago it's like an A-Bomb went off, this is hard. But I .....must......go.....on.

FROM CNN - American fitness guru Jack LaLanne, who spent decades promoting health and exercise long before the fitness craze swept the United States, has died. He was 96

Wow If he can die, really how long do I got left if he is Jack Lelanne I'm Fatk Lelanne.

Hey Liz are you getting to check out any of  that Tennis down under, That would be fun to see.

So I am restarting my game in Fallout from scratch after 40 hours invested but that's normal for me because now I know what I am doing, so bring it on.

So I will say it is nice to be around my dog and kid again we are having a great time, just missing my wife, but it's like old times with my mom great stuff. OK eye listeners I'm out.

Somiyanbotch

BS BS BS BS, dang it that's all I wanna say and you all know why.

Satan's vacation home.....not bad......a little warm.

So after one full night away from our old place ( after moving into late night Mel. decided to stay the night in lieu of going back ) I have to say my hosts are quite wonderful, now I am sure this is subject to change but we all had a nice time all things considered. I feel good about things moving forward and I know that this is temporary and we will be back on our feet shortly. The move did take a bad physical toll on me, I mean it's pretty sad that a hour car ride and helping ( briefly ) to not let a TV fall and walking up some stairs can take such a tremendous toll on me but it did. I am more than used to it by now and it only took an hour to cry myself to sleep so all in all not bad.

HEY HEY HEY tonight is the night, NFC Title up for grabs ( 17-7 Bears I think I had it ) C'mon football gods a fat crippled guy really needs this one.

Fallout New Vegas is one awesome game, Glitched like crazy but very solid ( overall ) and very fun, decent story although it needs to be expanded on some ( I have not finished the main story yet so that is subject to change ) but I have spent about 30 hours in the game and honestly I am just wondering around having fun seeing places that really do exist and that I have been to. I moved to Vegas when I was 8-9 years old and stayed till I was 18 so it's really cool to see these places in a game. So at thins point I would say the game is in a solid 7.5 - 8.5 range depending on the rest of the story.

So

ZSA ZSA Gabor is heading home one week after having her led amputated. You know I met her once very nice, although now that I reflect on it her personality was I tad limp. OK I am horrible cheap shot I mean that joke doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Ivanka Trump is preggers, boy some dude just hit the mega lotto right? She is beautiful and she's a trump and now no matter what this guy is connected with her and her dad ( I think he might be a famous rich developer or something) forever.

Bulls win again very nice job this year, man what a year for Chicago sports Blackhawks won it all and are looking good again, Bulls a very good team, Bears in the NFC Title game now we just need the Cubbies to step it up and the White Sox to be kicked out of the league and we are set.

Alright eye listeners I am outta here. Bear down.

A big day.

Today I leave my house, I wish things would have happened differently, I wish we could have made it work and the VA would have gotten there crap together, but you can't always get what you want, right? Some good things have happened from this, my wife Melanie had stepped up is starting to be the person I saw inside of her, great tribulations conjure greatness, and I think our best days are most certainly ahead of us. For a small period of time my wife and I have to be a part so she can stay with a friend and work ( she just got offered a better job at where she works over all of this because they just don't want her to leave ) while I go to Satan's vacation home. I am confident however that the space will bring us closer together, because we can regroup and get our finances straight and then go back into the world not reliant on terrible systems like the Army Medical Retirement or the VA, by the way if any of you listening are an artist or designer let me know I have an idea that I need drawn, I was to afraid to go for it before but the one good thing about having nothing to lose is.....you have nothing to lose so NO fear just go after it, if only living every day were so easy. So guys I will hit you all up later and remember just for today don't be afraid to just go after IT, whatever that may be, peace eye listeners.

Lets have some fun.

Here's is a question posed to me in part recently. Can 1 voice make a difference? A great many people say a resounding and understandable NO, based on the track record of the human race, while others namely idealists and and such say YES, and that by merely expressing your voice you have made a difference. Well I think first it is important to understand that there is a huge gap between difference and change, a change even at a fundamental level is very difficult to hit the masses, unless affected by a larger medium, say natural disasters, and such. While a difference is made all the time and is affected by us and our actions and voices, even if that difference is just holding off the inevitable, the things we say does make an impact on the people around us, and depending on if the right person for your cause is listening and that proverbial perfect storm happens then some differences can be greater in scale than others. So my new outlook is lets stop trying to make change and lets focus on the difference we all make in each others lives.

Quick hits.

Bulls edge out the Mavs once again behind Derrick Rose, once Noah gets back in there, watch out.

The closer we get to the Bears Pack game the more excited I get, OK lets make my picks, Bears over Pack 17-7, while the Jets win again by eeking out Pit 21-20.

Finally, did you see the video of the lady texting on her phone and fell into a Mall's fountain and didn't get hurt or anything, well now she wants to sue over people laughing at her and that no one came to her aid. Come on man that's all I can say, Come on man, all righty-roo eye listeners I've gotta lay back down before my back catches on fire.

Hey party people

Well guys I can't stop playing the latest Fallout on the 360 it's addicting as hell and a lot of fun, so I know I have slowed down on the blogs the last day or so but it's simply because I have either been in to much pain or tired or a combo of both, or an event was so emotional that I  am not ready to blog it yet. I will touch on it, I almost made a huge mistake over what really equates to a misunderstanding and nearly gave up on my marriage and myself in one swift moment, I can be dumb sometimes. But hey today is a new and better day and while getting back on our feet is going to be long arduous journey at least I have taken the first step and most importantly I have a great partner and friend to help me along the way. So strap in folks the true second part of my life is about to kick off and I will succeed, WE will overcome.

Quick hits

What do you guys think of the Ricky Gervais situation, I love comedy but he did go a little far and he seems like a different person than he was a few years ago, bye the way go check out the invention of lying great flick.

Some parts of Dolly Parton turned 65 years old today now we don't know exactly which parts but neither does she.

Does anyone else love that Pee-Wee is back and will be back on HBO I think it's awesome, a true redemption story that no matter how many times you hear never gets loose in the wrist.

I began watching a show I haven't watched in years, Mystery Science Theater 3000 man what a raw show, they got away with a ton and I think should come back on the air.

I was just on CNN on international and every continent had a link but Australia, what the hell is that, we should write in Liz, don't just sit down their and take it, g'day eye listeners.

Lesson learned

From now on I will hear a whole story before I go crazy, I just want to say to the world I am stupid and got mad over something that I misunderstood, well this is the thing that is gonna save our butts so kiddies always listen to a whole story before reacting. I know that was vague but let me sit in my humble pie won't you all, thanks friends. Things do look way up today, it's a day full of good news so far so yay.

On second thought

Through adversity do we truly find out who we truly are, so I know my blog from before may imply, that I am giving up but I will never do such thing, sitting here in the dark I had a moment of clarity, I need to stop worrying about the big picture and focus on the the things I can control. It's too big to take on at once, I needed to step back and find the smallest cog in the machine and examine it and you know what the first thing I decided to do was not be sorry for myself, this self-loathing BS is not gonna find me a place to stay so what's the point in it, I need to pick myself up and move ahead and that's what I feel I have done now, I think I can move forward and fix the next cog, thanks eye listeners for being there for me.

Very Bad night.

Look guys today has been an extra bad day so that's why I haven't blogged today much. There is a ton of uncertainty in my life at this point and everything has taken a 180 on me today so I just don't know anything right now, everything is confused and nothing is written in stone so I may blog tomorrow I may not, I don't know where I am gonna live anymore or even the full status of my marriage I just don't know so we will see how I feel after a nice coma sleep, night eye listeners.

Quick shout out

Well I can't sleep and just checking out my comments and came across a new follower, in fact Liz, you are the first person to follow that is someone I did not know so you will always be special so thank you for reading and I hope I can provide a little entertainment and some insight, thank you for your kind words. I wanted to touch on Oprah again so I am glad you brought her up, being from Chicago and being in a rough spot now, I look at Oprah in a different view, I am also not a a avid watcher of her show but the things she accomplishes are amazing, she is the most powerful non political person in the world hands down and she shows that no matter what your upbringing no matter how bad things get you can always recover. So again thank you for following please pass it on and I look forward to getting to know you and for wonderful country/continent better through the marvel that is blogging.

Darn Bulls dropped a gimmie game tonight but oh well can't win em all, hey quick question all. I am thinking of starting a blog just about sports is that something you all think I should do ? Keep in mind that is will take away nothing from my current blog, for I have nothing to do.

Bored and hurt, but just can't sleep.

You guys know what the worst thing about not being able to do much? Not being able to do much! I miss going on walks and playing sports hell I miss being able to roll over on my left side ( yes it's that bad ) sometimes people ask if it's really that bad or why is it that bad and I'm like no  A-hole I am just really committed to the lie. I mean really now, and I think that's what makes me so angry over this whole situation is that everything that is wrong with me has been confirmed and all the stuff on my end is straight but I still can get no help, I mean being retired from the Army which I was at 50 % ( which is not bad considering the army only puts you out and pays you for one thing ) is hardly a pro ball career. I mean they knew how bad it was and that I may not ever be able to hold down a job but yet they expect me to live on a grand a month, come on, OK that was just something I had to get off my chest.

Back to boredom, after you are immobile for an extended period of time, even the things you love get tedious so I am always looking for something get my hands into, wow crap totally lost where I was going, see I bored myself out there, I can only imagine how you feel reading it, I am sorry and look forward to your letters.

Getting closer to Sunday and as we march on the Bears path to victory one can only say to all those out there who didn't think the Bears could do anything this year and to those who still don't believe, Neener neener neener. OK eye listeners I am out till morning.

New addiction

Have you guys seen this show Pawn Stars , funny stuff man and it's in Vegas and my Dad and I have been in the shop many years ago, so it's cool to see all the stuff, and I've seen a few people I know so it's been a welcomed distraction. At this point anything that is not more bad news is a welcomed distraction. So today's lesson: usher in those distractions however small or stupid they may be.

Another Beautiful German morning and questions answered.

Well guys lets start with this, my friend Laura there commented on my post and became my first follower, ( thanks girlfriend ) but she has also known me for quite a while and has seen what has happened to me and wanted to know what the VA said that got me so angry and why it has really left me in a lurch so here is the answer. After it took nearly 7 months to get seen by a doctor over here by a Consulate approved doctor, I was told I was 85 percent def in my right ear, which I knew because I can't freaking hear and that all my other problems, bladder, not sleeping, past hernia's, and more were all confirmed so I was optimistic, well that was in July and it has taken all the way to now for the VA to send me their finding and percentage and my back pay numbers, because I should have been paid since I retired in Feb. Well not only did they just sweep most of my problems like insomnia and  the hernia's and stuff right off the table but then they won't pay me for my ear problems because they say they want another expert to look at my finding, not get me seen by the expert but to look at the finding from the doctors they approved that they have had in their hands for 6 months, unreal, but that's not the worst of it. For the 2 things they will pay me for they are only giving me 20 percent and which they say is 243 bucks but wait there is more, that's all I am getting period, no back pay just 243 bucks, not 243 bucks a month for the last 10 months and not 24.3 bucks a month ( which would be 243 bucks ) for the last 10 months either, just 243 bucks and the rep on the phone made it sound like they were doing me a favor by giving me that. Here's my problem my youth is gone because of the sacrifices I have made for this Country I can't play with my kid, I can't walk without a cane hell I can't even sleep in the same bed as my wife, and you know what I'll admit it I don't care who knows it I can't even have sex ( it's been more than 3 years, my virginity has actually grown back ). I was counting on that money to save my ass over here and after all that waiting and patience and trust in the system I get a nice big fat shit burger to eat ( I know what your thinking, but Dave their are people all over the world who don't have a shit burger to eat ). You know, I gave a lot in my service, more than a good majority, I came in pre-911 and stayed until my body simply could not take it anymore, and this is what I get, I mean c'mon, taking care of our wounded warriors my ass. I had a lot of reservations about telling the majority of the story but I felt it was time and maybe it will do some of you good.

Now I want to make an apology to all my friends out there, I am a bad friend, I don't keep in touch well and sometimes goes months without dropping a line and for that I am sorry, it has just been very tough on me and mine and just getting through each day is hard enough but together and that's means all of you too, we can get through this, so I ask only one thing, pass this blog on, follow me, interact tell me what you want me to rant about, Lets get crazy anything to keep my mind off of things. I want to help spread awareness of the growing problem this country facing the Vets and that once again we are being swept into the gutters just like after Nam and it's just a matter of time before the public not just the government turns on us as well, just like before. I would never go as far as to call myself a hero because I'm not I just did my job but I like so many others do not deserve this.

OK onto more fun stuff. Hot button time, lets do it.

SCIENCE
From Yahoo- Japanese researchers will launch a project this year to resurrect the long-extinct mammoth by using cloning technology to bring the ancient pachyderm back to life in around five years time.
Holy crap do we really want these things around again, bigger, hairier elephants, yeah that sounds like fun, if we can clone them, then why can't we all have our own Megan Fox's, I mean if freaking David from 90210 can why can't we all.
Scientists warn that California could face a disaster up to five times worse than a major earthquake from this super storm, is this the end of the world or simply the beginning of a new climate chapter, I just pee'd a little.

CELEBS

Nicole Kidman had a baby with Keith Urban, just what we need another fore-head to feed. oh great now she will never invite me over to swim in her heads pool.

So I hear the golden globes were just painful to watch, I did not tune in, If I wanted to see these celbs get screwed on camera, well I could have for most of them have a damn sex tape out, I'm waiting for yours Betty White.

Anyone see Oprah on Piers Morgan last night, man she got raw and honestly I felt for her she has been through hard times in the past, Ya know I grew up in Chicago and I have seen how hard it could be and still is for a great many people so good for her talking about it and making a success of her self, If your waiting for a joke here keep waiting Oprah does a ton of good for a great many people hell she tells over half the women in country how to live their lives, and you just don't joke on Oprah for she hears all, and if her kindness is this great her wraith must be equally so, so sayith the book of Oprah, which I think was the a book of the month club thing I dunno.


Great Monday Night Raw last night, it was fun and I love the shift to a 40 man Royal Rumble.

Bulls just keep winning and D-Rose keeps looking better and batter, but what about that Blake Griffen huh, he is a beast.


All right my friends I have to lay down my back is killing me so thanks for eye listening.

Sad time for a Daddy.

Well guys my daughter went back with my parents and I am not dealing with it very well, I know it's just until I figure out what's next and yeah it's only an hour down the road but still. I feel like a failure even though everyone is telling me it's just the situation I know better. I know there had to be something more I could have done, I don't know what but there has to be something. Maybe it's just my pride I don't know, all I do know is I do not enjoy feeling this way, and I am trying to figure a way out of it, but for now all I have is you guys so here's to you all my friends, my eye listeners.

Quick hot button stuff.

From Yahoo - Steve Jobs turns over the reins again, two years after receiving a liver transplant. 
Now here is a guy who works to hard right.


Golden Globes last night, didn't watch but very glad Glee did well Great Great show, that's right those greats get big G's.


Happy MLK day everyone , love each other, be a little more tolerant of the people around you today if not any other, peace.

Wakey, wakey, Bears are greaty.

I think this game next week is gonna be great guy, I mean really, really, great and I can't wait to watch and experience it. So aside from that I am a little bit bummed out cause my daughter is going with my parents today until we get this mess figured out financially. Which I hope is not gonna be that long, I need a few breaks here universe, I need the cosmos to intercede and help a guy out because I am running out of options but surprisingly we all seem to be full on hope, so that's a good thing. The way I look at it, this all gives me a chance to start clean, fresh and really succeed. For those of you out their in the Military, be careful, and don't trust the government or your retirement to help you and REALLY don't count on the V FRIGGING A, because they just slipped me a life Rufe for 13 months and then after I woke and ass hurt they threw me out of their condo. But it's OK because this situation I am going through can be considered a rape clinic to help me get over this. OK you guys I gotta go, eye listeners.

YEEEEAAAAHHHH!

OK I think we know why the headline is what it is, Man did we stop out the Sea Hawks and that score is very misleading, because it was no where as close as it would indicate. But wow the J-E-T-S jets jets jets, I didn't give them that much of a chance but hey a ring for us looks a lot better now, because I think we can very much beat the Pack, I'll be honest I like that we lost week 17, it's hard to beat the same team 3 times in a year, the coaching is too good so, I'm happy with how things happened , it seems just the way I would have written it. After we beat the Pack I think we will win it all, 25 years later baby, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, talk to ya later eye listeners.

Some things you can't take things back.

My parents just went back to their house to drop some stuff back and they are coming back later, we hope, but who knows. But before they left my Mom made a situation that started out as one thing but ended as a total different thing all together, it was so crazy it would have almost been funny if it weren't so sad. I just don't know how I am supposed to get over this, she said something pretty awful even by her standards, and it's gonna be a challenge to get over it, my wife even more than me but I don't really wanna get into the specifics but I just needed to talk to someone and you are the only one to seem who will just listen, because this is gonna get worse at some point, down the road this will resurface and it's gonna be ugly, and to top it off my leg and back are just messed up, I am feeling like shocks in my make right down my spine which makes me worry my stimulator is broken and couple with the fact I can't feel my left leg below the knee and I am very concerned. I want to type more but it will have to later because I can't sit up, so peace everyone, thanks for eye listening.

Good morning, good morning, to you

Way to go Bulls, and honestly I'm happy the pack won, if we can take care of business tonight, we set up one amazing game next week, I hope it happens.

So have you ever had to sleep with a Mac Truck, well that's what it is like sleeping in the same room as my Mommy, but the difference is the truck is a little bigger and can drive you places, kidding kidding, that's unfair to the truck , the truck also won't nag at you, kidding mom, love you.

Had a great talk with a friend I don't talk to near enough ( TC ) and honestly it was one of the best talk I've had in months outside of my Dad, with all this bad stuff going on right now for me it was a welcome distraction, so thanks buddy.

So the packing up of the house is going......well it's going and that's all that matters, I wish I could help, I feel like and 80's Mac right now.....outdated.

Can't wait for tonight, really need this win, so go bears go.

So I am going to be honest I was hoping for more feedback from people, and I hope you guys will spread this around, because I do enjoy it and would like a little more dialogue with you guys. But it won't deter me if I don't get it because this has been a good thing for me, so lets keep it going folks.

Hot button time

SPORTS
Pack look dangerous, Steelers looked lucky ( that Bal. didn't show up in the second half ) and Rose looks more of an MVP than before. I wish the Black hawks can find more consistency.
FROM Yahoo Sports - The Cardinals may have to dig deep fast to avoid a year of worrying about Albert Pujols. I say Bye Bye and good riddance from my Div. I hope or even more optimistically welcome to Chicago.


COMIC BOOKS
Question who do you think has the worst secret identity of all hero's I'm just wondering.


AMERICA
Is anyone else upset over the fact that the shootings in Arizona is being used to further seemingly every one's political agenda or just their image, it's all very sad, but Tis the nature of politics and in combination with the mass media outlets of today and boom we have a whole lot more fun, just sad. Why can't the focus just set on the incident itself instead of what it means for every one's cause, but like I said Tis the nature of the beast and like it or not we are all part of the system.


Ok gotta stop for now my back is on fire, thanks for eye listening.

Quick hits

Real fast you guys, Man what an ending to the Bal - Pit game poor Housh. dropping that ball , that's gonna stick with him.

Go Bulls beat those Heat.

Hey if any of you guys wanna try out that Home Game feature on Poker stars let me know I'm down. By the way Blog-o-sphere I have a little bit of a gambling problem, thanks Mom, thanks for eye listening y'all.

Dazed and confused

I just was having one of the worst pain attacks I have had in quite a long time, and I found a stash of like my last 2 pain pills. See my clinic where I am in Germany is not really seeing Retirees and it's very hard to get care over here, I would go to on the economy but I simply don't have the cash right now, as retirees we have to pay out of pocket and then we get it back at a later date and honestly that's just not an option for me. I tell you all of this not for a poor me factor but just to try and give perspective on what I and many other vets are facing, even more so when after 13 months of waiting for a VA claim to be processed they come back with very skewered conclusions that only seem to not only to have wasted my and their time, but really shows how our country still does not care about the wounded warriors and it's just not right. So I ask of you all to pass this blog on, get the word out lets get heard and try to help, and then maybe by doing good for others, help will someday be afforded to me, or even you with any problems you may be facing in your journey's. And I hope that happens for all of you and if it does then great but for now spreading awareness is the goal send this blog to Oprah maybe she can make a difference I don't know. In the mean time if you know a Vet try and show em some support because the one thing I know we all feel is isolated and we can always use another friend. So until later thanks for eye listening.

Heart ache tonight.

Well world I have touched on how bad things have been for us financially the last few months and they have and now I quickly want to thank my sister in law and my parents for the help they have given us.They really have saved us in many ways and if I have anything to say about things they will all be repaid in a multitude of ways, beginning but never ending with my love and gratitude, of which they always had. So again in short thank you guys and also to all you reading this, thank you for giving me purpose , I can't tell you much this has meant to me so far and I just can't wait to continue blogging so stay tuned and as always thanks for eye listening.

Are you kidding me!

Wow world, Wow. I just woke up to find that my Mom ( A.K.A. Non-stop freak-out chain-smoker ) got up at some point and left my freaking front door open all night just inviting all the crazy degens. out there into the house for and good old fashion raping or a down home murder, just UN-real, but I guess I just have to deal right.........right, aw well at least I would of gotten laid first. She just told me she could hear is was open a crack so that's OK, and no not heard from a friend, like she heard me close it and could tell how far it was open......what, I look forward to your letters. Didn't sleep much,pain just woke me up and I don't just mean my mother's antics. My groin and hip hurt so bad I can't even tell how much my back hurts it's cracker jacks up this mess. OK I think that rant is over onto the hot button issues for the morning. Lets hit it.

VIDEO GAMES
Not like it's world news but I at last got my copy of Fallout New Vegas, can't wait to try it out. It will keep my mind off of my crazy situation.

AMERICA
Just saw this on Yahoo, crazy. Nearly 20 percent of the female students at Memphis's Frayser High are having babies. That means more than 20 percent of a school was DTF. Now to think of it for now a days, does that seem low or is it that these 20 percent were just irresponsible enough to be DTF without a C.O.N.D.O.M. and no that does not stand for anything I was just being retarded. And if not and that number is just overall low, maybe that's what wrong with the world now we all are just not banging each other nearly enough despite Ron Jeremy and the governments best attempts. NO, I am not advocating teen or unprotected sex, what I'm saying is we all just smashed a little bit more like the old days then maybe we would all stop being so frigging bat crap crazy.

BASKETBALL
My bulls won again, yeah. and that sets up a great match tonight with a cold possible Lebron-less Heat.......too bad no one will watch it for it is on Div. Playoff Weekend. But once again Rose looked like an MVP and if he doesn't win it this year I think he is set up to win it for the next few. Just a side note, People are discussing if race has something to do with his now bad image, well as far as I know he was black last year when he one of the most popular celebs. out there not just for basketball, if this weekend doesn't show that it's content of the character and not the skin color that determines this in most cases then when. By the way I would dis-like Lebron even if he were a white A-hole race has nothing to do with it.


HOCKEY 
Boy the NHL really needs Sid the Kid to get back on the ice maybe just as much as the Pens. do.


WRESTLING
If your a fan, who do you think should go into the HOF this year with HBK ( Shawn Michael's ) I think it should be a small super class, like with Arn Anderson, Macho-Man, Luger and Sting, maybe Goldberg too, But that would be a hard sell class to WWE considering the relationships. They all including Goldberg belong in.


There are of course more things going on but I am just gonna be a little lazy this morning. OK so I'm out y'all thanks for eye listening.

Sick and tired of always being sick and tired

I am so sick right now you guys , I stood up felt pain through my whole body and boom, I made pukes all over the floor and I been just racked with pain and been sick all day so I am done right now so good night for now folks. Thanks for eye listening.

Help!

Quick post, My mom is here and it instantly turned into WW17 but we overcame it , she is driving me nuts though any tips on dealing?

Waking up is hard to do.

Good morning blog-o-sphere
    How did you all sleep, I hope better then I did which is to say not very well. I thought I would give you some insight on my current situation with all this stuff as far as pain and sleeping and the such. I sleep downstairs in the living room of our ( current ) place just as I did the last place we lived when I was still in the military and that has nothing to do with my WANTING to do so with my wife, see I have a mattress down here I sleep on so I don't roll to much or fall out of bed because if that were to happen I would be done and it's hospital time which is never fun. The last 2 times I had to be rushed to the hospital ( which was in my last place on the 3rd floor and keep in mind I'm a very big guy, around 350lbs to which I'm not proud ) I had to be cherry picked out of my living room window, being sedated in my house only to awaken dangling out of my window 3 stories up was very scary and unsettling. So going through that in any variation is noT a prospect I would like to undertake again. So I sleep down here away from my wife like I have for over 3 years now and it sucks, truth be told also my wife has a tendency to flail and hit me in her sleep which would also be bad if it were in the wrong spot. Couple all the with the fact I've become a very light sleeper that SNOARS very loudly and boom we have a big problem. She's working right now while I stay home with my brat and try not to hurt my self more than I already am, she is my hero in many ways, and my best friend despite the fact we and our marriage are not perfect. ( Who is? Even though my mother would tell you she's the closest thing. Chalk up my mommy and daddy issues to another topic I will save for later and you won't wanna miss that. ) So I don't wanna keep her awake she does so much already even if I don't always give her the credit she deserves. OK on the the hot button topics this morning, these are the things I see on the web around the world as I awaken this fine day.

BASKETBALL
I love that the 3 Lebrons over there in Miami lost it's second strait game last night now I know they just came off a huge string of wins like 21 in 22 games but many EXPERTS didn't have them losing 10 games all year let alone 11 by the ALL-STAR break, not to wish bad on anyone but after how he did Cleveland dirty like that he has some bad stuff coming and while I like to watch him play ( I mean really he is great, no M.J. , but still great ) I hope he becomes the next Barkley or Karl Malone ( greatness and in the HOF but no ring ) even more so if that means the advancement of D-Rose of my Baby Bulls ( see I didn't mark out for my team till the end there ).

FOOTBALL
Love the trash talk with the Jets-Pats game even though I would NEVER do so to Tom Brady, he's like his Airness you don't wanna piss him off. I remember a story from the 90's there was a player I can't seem to remember his name right now that the media proclaimed Baby Jordan and he had some unkind works for the Duke of Dunkington and I do remember what happened next when M.J. blew him up on the court I mean WOW just torched him so bad they to hit the sprinklers at half time. Shortly after this baby Jordan's numbers dropped as did his minutes until he would be gone from the league sooner rather than later never achieving the levels of hype that was placed upon him by himself and the media. Brady is the same way he's a winner ( and by the way I am not a fan but have great respect for him ) and you don't piss him off let alone call him an a-hole on TV and that ancient device known as radio.

Lesser but sick note L.T. ( Lawrence Taylor ) pleads guilty to the multitude of crimes he has committed and while this is not his first run in with the law he will get zero jail time but will still be a hero in NY and to the football world while Mr. Vick on the other hand still doesn't get a fair shake from the media ( hell one Fox news guy, you all know who I mean actually called for his execution just sick ). I just don't get it.

NCAA FOOTBALL
Cam Newton will come out for the draft and this time it's OK for his Dad to have his hand out.

WORLD
Happy MLK weekend everyone enjoy the time off and try to love one another, literally if you are so inclined.
 READ THE FOLLOWING FULL STORY ON CNN AND TRY NOT TO GET WORKED UP
From CNN - A teenager who was scared of water drowned in the Queensland floods after begging rescuers to save his younger brother first. The death toll from the floods has risen to 15, and there are fears it could grow further.
Just sad.

OK you guys don't know how much I will be on today my parents are coming to help me get the house packed up and stuff so it'll be a fun day I'm sure and I will fill you in later. thanks for eye listening

Time to try and sleep

Well I think for my first day I've done well I posted frequently and had fun doing it, now lets see how long I can keep this up, so for my last blog of the day ( its 2230, 1030 at night here ) I thought I would try something different and share with you my ( Hot ) got to movies and things right now.

Number 1 movie with me right now is Jaws. I know its old but if you haven't seen it in a while and your able to watch it in HD I say do so, wow what a great, great flick man just a great piece of film and most importantly it still can have effect on you , I dare you to watch this movie and then go swimming, even more so in open waters, by the way if you haven't seen the new piranha movie and I'm not saying you should, it's a train wreck, there is one reason to do so and that's the beginning with Richard Dreyfuss where not only sings show me the way to go home but also utters the iconic line fast fish, it's great, but it pretty much goes down hill from there. I'm also in the latest gook in the Dark Elf series it's like the 20th in the set and it;s still great real good read for those so inclined, also here is a bonus old school sci-fi book that's a forgotten beauty and that is the iconic On a pale horse, awesome read , I mean what would it be like to not only kill but to become death, and forget the awful Simpson's spook of it, check out the book, and lastly I think sometimes we forget who we all are and how things were not to long ago before this era of convenience began, so I propose this to you all go visit a Library today a real one not Kindle or the book store app on your IPhone go check out some real books a book store will do as well, if you love to read then you will be surprised at how good it feels just to walk amongst the stacks, check it out. Also it goes the same for movies, go to a movie rental place if one should still exist, I remember when going to blockbuster and such was like a treat and it can be again I mean all these things were once part of Americana living and it can be again if we so chose it to be. So to all in my time zone good night and to everyone else enjoy your Prevning or Evening, and thanks for eye listening folks.

A blogging blog

From looking at other blogs I'm noticing that blogging is as much as anything being in the moment and expressing it, so I thought I would blog quickly about something that is apart of many of my moments and that is pain, I can't sleep still, I just had a little nap but I was jostled awake by pain, think of that pain that is intense enough to wake you, if any of you suffer from a form of chronic pain then you know what I'm talking about. Well my pain is all through my body and because it is nerve pain I get to run the gamete of sensation, from numb to tingles to fire and burning to sharp stabbing pain, it throbs then it aches, it's like a women in her late 40s early 50s just all over the place. Once again without getting into the ins and outs of why the VA has screwed my over big time we will just say that they did and leave it there for now but I promise I will get more into it down the road, but regardless of how the fact is because they did I now more than likely am going to lose my house and have to move possibly back in with parents for a short time to get back on my feet, and honestly while it is embarrassing and humbling to admit that, it is also kind of freeing to do so in this forum. Sure some of you may judge me or say this or that but that's the whole point if I can do nothing more than inform and provide everyone with a sense for what many disabled veterans are going through ( and trust me many more brave men and women have it much worse than I do ) then i will have to consider this time very well spent, but I also hope you all get a little more out it as well, insight, perspective and hopefully laughter from time to time. So really I just want to say thank you if your reading this, your giving me the one thing I felt I had lost..... a public voice again. Hey and thanks for eye listening as always.

Goes to show ya

I was just on CNN looking at some stuff and I saw Ted Williams THE VOICE on and now he is saying he is still drinking and has checked into rehab, I found this sad because I thought it was a great story of inspiration. In truth it is not surprising to hear, he has battled a tough road and has been hit with instant fame and that can be hard to deal with, you see I can relate My Step dad/( In my mind real Dad ) is a recovering alcoholic for like 15 years and to be honest he is my rock , he came into my moms and mines life when I was 16 and turned my life around or in my words saved me and showed me how to be a man and later help me with lessons on being a father and husband, even now when I am facing some of my hardest struggles of my life he is there trying to support and being my example of what a man is ......I mean is he a douche sure but he's my douche and I love every bit of his duchy ways, but I digress he has battle this problem that he and THE VOICE share and I've seen the toll it can take even if he thought I wasn't looking I saw and I know the toll it can take so I know that this is a hard road Mr. Williams faces but just like my Dad he can overcome as long as he allows others to be in his life and share the love they have to give because rich or poor the love of the people that matter and more importantly the love and respect that you should have for yourself can conquer any of life challenges even the ones we place in front of ourselves.


OK so a priest, a pedophile a rapist walk into a bar ..... and that was just the first guy. OK bad joke sorry for the jab there super religious people but we have to laugh at the things that upset us sometimes and take heart in knowing that I am a Catholic and even I can laugh at it a bit if not......then I look forward to your letters.


I'm also Polish so this is OK too but it's not as bad as the other.

A polish guy walks into a store goes up to the guy at the counter and say hey sir can I buy 10 pounds of Polish sausage and the guy takes a moment smirks and asks hey are you Polish, Suddenly the Polish man erupts with anger and says. Look pal if came in here asking for Bratwurst would you ask if I were German? The man replies No. If I asked for Italian sausage would you ask if I were Italian? Again the man says no. Well if I asked for tacos would you say hey buddy are you Mexican? Of course not said the man. Then why oh why that just because I ask for Polish sausage do you ask me if I'm polish? The man clearly amused stated flatly Buddy this is a hardware store.

Please forgive if I run on sometimes.

I want to use this site for all means, fun, info or just to escape so buckle up folks it's gonna be a long ride, thanks again for eye listening.

Still Still awake

Still can't sleep but that's part of the reason why I'm blogging, so I know with my blog name what it is you may be wondering what happened to me so I thought I might get into a bit. So I came into the army at 18 right out of high school in fact I came into basic 2 months before 9/11, and I was in basic when it happened and it was scary, all these rumors where going on and I was ... a kid......I was 18 and I was very much considering leaving but I stayed after I saw the footage of the towers, it was upsetting but it brought my platoon and really the whole company together and we leaned on each other to get through it and we did, we only lost a few people, not everyone will make through basic, I still talk to a few of them as a matter of fact. But as far as foreboding goes this was not an ideal start to my career. Then I head to advanced training or A.I.T. for 9 months  ( Communications ) and it flew by because I knew I was going to Germany but unfortunately I went to a station known as the rock, basically the worst duty station one can get over here, 10 of my first 11 months was spent in the field and it was cold and snowy and awful so I was surprised to find out in mid 03 that I was heading to Iraq I mean I just was training for a whole year in the snow so obviously where better to use that knowledge than a frigging water less desert. I saw many things I wish I could UN-see but I made it through and almost to the end unhurt but that was not to be, during a small fire-fight I had to jump from a large vehicle with my gear on and as I did that I practically tore most of my ligaments on my left side and gave myself a double hernia. fast forward a few years to 2006 I had a relapse of a hernia on my left side and long story short my Doctor stitched up my nerves into my groin where they stayed for nearly 3 years to get crunched on and just smashed beyond repair also screwed my hip up as well. After I healed a bit I got sent off to Iraq again which was OK I wanted to shed weight and get promoted and re-up while I was there, Shortly after getting there ( in fact mere weeks after that pic. with HBK and HHH below ) I was walking around on the base and boom I couldn't move, and then the pain set in, I can't describe what it felt like it was horrid like burning knives tearing through my body so after some tests I got med-evaced back to Germany because they didn't know what was wrong with me, when I got the they felt it was a nerve problem so they gave me a temp. nerve block and sent me on my way and by May I was back to Iraq ( later I would find I was never supposed to return there ) and after a couple months of toughing it out the nerve block went away and I was back in pain and couldn't move again so once again I was Med-Evaced and this time the just put a permanent spinal cord stimulator in my back which kinda helps, at least it lets me walk with a came so that's better than nothing.Since things have only gotten worse and now as I head to my 1 year anniversary of retirement I can take the time and reflect upon it with a bunch of strangers but I think it is what I need right now and hopefully there are some people out there that have been through similar events and can relate and we can share ideas and help each other , cause that's what we are here for right.... to help each other and grow together.

OK enough with the chick flick moment. Let me say this Go Bears Go baby right, I think we got a shot to got to the Super Bowl and get trashed by New England's Brady Bunch, but we will deal with that when we get there. But really it's a great time to be Chicago sports fan the Black hawks won it all last year and look strong this year the Bulls look real good and should get even better when Noah returns ( if you don't thin Rose is a legit MVP contender than you need to watch more basketball ). My Cubbies had a bad year but we brought back my man Kerry Wood and got Matt Garza and to a lesser extent Pena so I think we will compete in a very win-able N.L. Central.

Other things I up on right now Glee, Fable 3, Fallout NV, and god forgive me the Jersey Shore ( I love those crazy people ) and can't wait for The Walking Dead to return if you wanna chat about anything just drop me a comment I'm a very open guy and I'll discuss most things about my Army past and such and love to talk about everything else. So thanks again for eye listening people.

Still up

Still awake can't sleep, talking to some old friends and thought I would post real fast, it's funny, you know we spend so much time filling our lives with endless activities , TV, gaming, ping pong, masturbation, that I don't think we spend near enough time with the person we are around the most....ourselves with all the time I have now since I have been hurt it has allowed me to reconnect with who I am, this blog also helps me, and will continue to do so as I progress, but I think it's sleep time so until tomorrow y'all, reconnect with yourself not in that way you sickos, thanks for eye listening

My first post

Hey world,
      My name is Dave, and about a year ago I was medically retired from the Army after 9 years and 2 downrange tours, I came to Germany at the beginning of my career and just haven't left. I met a good wifey here and have an awesome kid who is my world, as of late things have gotten very hard for me as I am sure they have for everyone, you see I have severe nerve damage on my left side and a spinal cord stimulator implanted in my back, for that I am bound to a cane ( sometimes 2 at a time ) and I am not really able to do much anymore and to be honest I just need an outlet to express my opinions, my passions in life and also maybe try and help other people out there who may have also been railroaded by the system. Don't get me wrong I loved my time in the Army and I wouldn't change a minute of it but the VA ( Veterans administration ) needs a lot of work, for example it took more than 13 months to process my claim and lets just say the outcome was not what I was expecting, but more on that later. For now lets make introductions, Like I said my name is Dave and I love Da Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks and my beloved Cubbies and wish the White Sox would be cast from baseball, I am a big lifelong wrestling fan as well as a huge ( not just in size ) gamer. I like to think I am a very open minded person who speaks my mind even if it may not be what you want to hear. I have a ton of thoughts on the world and I love to share them and love even more to debate them, through communication can we continue to grow right. I have gained a lot of weight in the last couple of years, not that I was ever a small dude but it surely hasn't help my back caring the extra weight, I do a decent job of watching what I eat but when you can't move sometimes and couple that with some meds that effect weight gain and Boom I'm a HippoDave. By the way I am a super nerd/dork/geek hybrid ( loves me some comic books and of course my Star Wars amongst other things ) I am kind of a not as smart version of the big bang theory guys but with a wife.... go me. So O.K. as for posting on the here and now aspect of my blog, it's 0347 on a very cold morning in a small quiet German town and I sit here typing mainly because I can't sleep, O.K. how was that I will expand on that part of this I swear but not bad for my first time and to be honest, ....... didn't hate it, I feel connected, that is until I get my first message calling me a Douche Hat but until then ......... not hating it, so alright world here I am, thanks for listening with your eyes.